Chapter Two: The Radiant Aeryn Sun's Diaries
by RadiantRose68
Summary: The Radiant Aeryn Sun's Diaries! This diary will be filled with a whole lot of Tragedy, Drama, Laughter, Love and yes will end with a Happy but can also be tragic to others kind of Ending. There will be a whole lot of installments as Aeryn endures her captivity and torture by the Scarrens. I am dedicating this Chapter Two to Rita Lewis and Patricia Lynn Vanover for all their help.


**Rating: **PG-13

**Spoilers: Prayer?**

**Time Frame/Spoilers: **Aeryn has been captured by the Scarrans. While in captivity, she uses her memories to counter the torture techniques.

**Disclaimer: **The characters and universe of Farscape are the property of the Henson Co. I have not made any profit off this tale, and I am giving the characters back the way I found them.

**Chapter Two: "The Radiant Aeryn Sun's Diaries"**

Drajcan-Dru, I hear my torturers coming. I don't remember how long I been here, in this torture chamber called my cell. They are here again. Jenek and that traitorous Sebecean nurse. I choke on the frelling heat of the Scarren probe. They won't shut up. I can't breath as they ask me question after question. If I fall back into my memories maybe I won't feel the heat and delirium that I know will follow it.

My second memory,

I am on the command carrier and the room is large. There are other children my age and older and younger and we are all supposed to be sleeping since the nightly bell has rung. I can't sleep because my mind is racing. I can't stop thinking about the events that happened several arns before. I hear someone coming towards me so I pretend I am a sleep. Suddenly, I feel a sharp pinch on my arm and I am falling; my mind spinning; and I cannot grasp a thought or speak. I don't know whether it's been several microts or several arns but I hear my name being called, "Aeryn Sun, wake up."

As I open my eyes to blurry vision, there standing in front of me is a uniformed officer.

Memories are funny things. They fool us with false realities and play games with time. I know I learned many years later what happened to my parents, first from Crais' chip and then from my mother herself; but it all melds together as the heat becomes fiercer and the drugs they are feeding me become overwhelming. Am I dreaming the torture or my knowledge of love and caring? What is real?

I recall as if I'm standing in front of the detention cells where my parents await their fate. My parents are whispering to each other between the iron rails that fence them in. They are wondering what will happen next to them and what is happening to me right now. I reach out to my father because I can see that he is very concerned about me. Some bit of reality tells me of his grief and anger at how I was taken away before he could explain why. In my dream, I touch my mother's hand where it grasps the door railing. I hear Xhalax firmly tell Talyn that I am a strong little warrior and will one day become a very high-ranking Peacekeeper, despite their actions..

I feel the sharp spiking pain as that bitch of a nurse stabs me with another drug. My thoughts are blurry. Don't think of John. Don't think of the baby. Think of my past. Think of how I became Aeryn Sun, ex-Peacekeeper and lover of an alien. The pain is less as I drift off.

I know I am dreaming again because I'm standing in the ready room listening to Captain Castaic and Officer Helox discuss what should be done with the prisoners. I hear Captain Castaic call for Peacekeeper Training Officer Praxius Orax to join in their discussion.. Officer Praxius Orax tells Captain Castaic that he will make sure to assign a special guard detail to the new recruit, Aeryn Sun. I suddenly am shaking because I remember the guards and their red and black leather jackets following me everywhere. They must have been afraid I would desert like my parents did. I walk around the room to get a good look at the men who destroyed my family. I had a family. What an amazing thought. Not one like John's, but I remember them. Mother and father in my memory standing in the detention center awaiting their fate. Officer Helox reminds his captain that the punishment for desertion and procreation is decommissioning for both officers. He says it is a shame to loose both such fine pilots to this fate, but rules are rules. I drift over near the captain and whisper in his ear, "what if only one has to die to fulfill the rules? What if the other is simply demoted for life?"

Captain Castaic tilts his head and shakes it. Wonder of wonders, Zhaan was right. The power of dreaming works. Thank Kahanu, I breathe the first prayer of my life. I hear him suggest that only one of the two have to die. Let them choose which one lives as a grunt or better yet, a retriever of other deserters and which is decommissioned and dies of the Living Death.

I'm actually praying. Zhaan, please don't make me watch his death. There's too much blood on my hands. See, and I hold out my hands to the air. They're bleeding. You saved my parent, now rescue me from this dream. Let me remember good things. It wasn't to be.

I'm still standing in the ready room in the corner with my red hands shaking because I know what is coming.

Captain Castaic calls to have the prisoners brought to his Chambers immediately, once they arrive Xhalax and Talyn are ordered to sit at one end of the long table while on the other side are the other officers. I gently squeezed my mother's and father's shoulders as they sat tall and silent awaiting their fates. Castaic began by saying "

Castaic stands with his hands behind his back and his feet spread at parade rest. He looks at my parents with disgust saying quietly and forcefully, "As you know, the penalty for illegal procreation and desertion is decommissioning — administration of The Living Death. However, because we are short trained pilots such as Xalax, we will spare you. Your punishment is to administer the drugs that bring on The Living Death to your mate. When you are done, you will join the retrieval squads without hope of promotion. Your daughter will be raised as a Peacekeeper and we will keep an eye on her to ensure her DNA was not tainted by whatever prompted you to do what you did."

Tears ran down my face as I remembered what my mother told me on Valadon. How could I have forgotten that she killed my father to save me? All these years my pride was that I was born and raised on a Command Carrier. What a fool I've been. I watch as my parents are hauled off back to their detention.

Suddenly, I'm back in the crèche where my young self-lay pretending to sleep. I look on as Praxius Orax wakes me up and I hear myself ask, "Are you taking me to see my parents, officer."

Praxius Orax says, "Yes I am taking you to where your parents are, but you will not be seeing them anymore you are a Peacekeeper's recruit now you don't need parents anymore."

I'm now on the Captain's personal marauder with Officer Praxius Orax and my young self and we're flying to High Command. I smile at how brave I am sitting in my flight chair with my hands folded on my lap. I don't think I knew what was coming. I trusted the Officer because I was taught to.

Two arns later, we landed on the satellite that housed High Command, and are escorted by a full guard detail back to Captain's Castaic meeting chambers. I stood next to young Aeryn knowing she was feeling scared and lost again but I was so proud because I could hear her whispering to herself what her mother taught her, "Aeryn, you are a strong little warrior show no fear."

Castaic began by asking questions such as, state your name and who are your parents and do you know why you are here. I could tell he was disgusted that a Peacekeeper even knew she had parents and that he felt nauseated that she could name them. I saw his eyes open wide when the little girl calmly replied, "Aeryn Sun, daughter of Xhalax Sun and Talyn." I had no idea that I was already challenging authority at that young age when I hear her continue speaking, saying, "Where are my parents and when can I see them?"

Castaic didn't give her a chance to continue her query, but raised his hand and slammed it against the table, and said "Enough!" My Aeryn didn't flinch at his outburst. Like I said, memories are strange creatures and somehow in my dream I could feel that Castaic was surprised at how strong-minded and -willed I was, showing no fear of him and his questions.

The heat was rising again and I felt myself sweating, the water dripping off my face and body as more drugs were administered. Oh Kahanu how was I to stand this without breaking, but I must protect John and the baby. I will not bend. I'm a strong little warrior. The world was spinning around me and I dove back into my memories and found myself marching along with Officer Helox and a guard detail to retrieve Xhalax from her cell and bring her back to the Captain's meeting chambers. I was wavering from the heat but stood straighter in my dream. I needed to show myself that I could be as brave as my mother appeared. She knew what was coming.

I listened carefully and Xhalax says, "Yes, I have made my decision, Captain Castaic. I will kill Talyn. I will then accept my own punishment for my actions, but listen to me well, Captain Castaic any harm comes to my daughter I will find a way back here and kill all of you."

I knew I had the strength to protect my baby from the Scarrens. My mother protected me. She stood up to her Captain and took her punishment proudly like a Peacekeeper. I heard Helox summon the retrieval Squad Commandos and the orders for Xhalax Sun to join them as her new duty assignment. Her first duty as a member was to administer the Living Death to my father.

I don't remember his death, thank Kahanu. I don't remember them leaving my cell as I lay shivering and sweating but I remember my mother's face, white and drawn after she carried out her assignment. I knew she loved my father, Talyn and she loved me.


End file.
